And so it goes

From ashes to phoenix and life going on...

In the spring 22 years ago, I was just another single mom. My life was filled with volunteer activities, new and old friends and co workers that became extended family. My son had been invited by his friend to join their family for their spring break vacation. He had recently recovered from a bout of pneumonia, returned to school and caught up on all of his outstanding homework. He busily forecasted for his sophomore year of high school including classes from university correspondence programs. He had aspirations of earning college and high school credits at the same time. It was his desire to get into Notre Dame so he joined the high school Lacrosse team. He had worked hard and deserved to go on vacation.

Over the course of less than 24 hours, everything changed. As the officer at my door told me about the accident and my son being the only fatality. I was shattered. I did not think I would ever be happy again. I blamed myself for discarding my inner voice. I struggled trying to imagine my life as a Mom, with no child. Over the course of my grief and shock I heard my own words, through the voice of my deceased son, “ Mom are you going to make a good choice or bad choice? Pull the blankets over your head or go out and represent?”

I realized 15 years was better than none. I could focus on what I lost or live in the moment. Things that used to monopolize the forefront of my to do list are not important. The connections, the experience and presence in each moment is a gift. We sponsored memorial scholarships, started a non profit that ran on a shoestring budget and only volunteers a little over five years and became an avenue of transforming our collective grief into opportunity.

It is now the spring of 2026 and I recognize that I have been blessed beyond measure. Living is a much different experience than surviving. I may choose to fret about the future or live in the now. I can dance through the rain, through the dark tunnel to the light. It takes both to create the beauty of the rainbow. I often ebb and flow as I wade through the emotional waves, tread water or scream for help. My better half and I recently celebrated 15 years. I am grateful for the connections that became friendships that morphed from childhood, fake id and then the AARP card. Whether it has been 15 minutes, days or years we can pick up where we left off. As I acknowledge my reflection and a little over 6 decades I am lucky to be. I may no longer check the boxes that I used to and that is okay. We all rise, we all fall, and in the words of my Dad, “What I have learned in 62 years is this…None of this is too significant-So don’t get to damn serious about things-Especially yourself! For like the sands of time, they pass into the vortex of the Cosmos, imperceptibly-Just try to have a good time”

O